I’m getting old. There are two ways I can tell.
Firstly, never in my life have I been interested in nature, let alone gardening. But for the last year or so I’ve found myself stopping during my walks to admire the plants along the way. Honestly, I’m not sure if it started because we moved to Japan where they are great at cultivating beautiful greenery amidst the city, but gawking at flowers and going to nurseries for fun was something that my mom, aunts and grandma did when I was growing up. As a kid, man that stuff was extremely boring. Yet here I am, 29 years old and trying my hand at gardening for the first time.
It’s going… okay. I would say about half of my flowers are thriving and the other half are either dead or on their way. I’ve bothered my mom with countless questions, but even she seems to be somewhat stumped (from what she can tell across the globe). Am I watering them too much or too little? Is there too much shade or not enough? On top of that, there are all other kinds of weird factors such as Japan’s crazy weather (this spring we’ve had really hot days, a lot of rain, intense wind, and even a day of snow), invasive vines running under ground, etc. It’s hard to tell what exactly is causing the growth in some flowers and the death in others.
The other day we were listening to a sermon that briefly covered the parable of the sower, and my thoughts quickly went to my own garden. Sure, plants have basic necessities such as sun and water, but there are so many more factors than that. The soil, fertilizer, pruning, weather, surrounding plants, insects, and who knows what else has an effect too. Similarly, when living out a spiritual life, there’s more to it than just prayer and reading the Word. You interact with other people, you learn, you get burned, you bear fruit, you experience loss - you go through different stages of life.
As much zeal as you might have to grow, you can’t force it. You can encourage it, sure! But it’s not always as simple as “get more water or sunshine”. For me personally, I find that interacting with other people is a great source of spiritual vitality. Other practices such as journaling, worship through art and expression, etc. has proven to be helpful in past seasons, but it’s not consistent. Why? I don’t know!! I just know that there are periods where it storms and it almost feels like it doesn’t matter what I try to do to help : I can plant a stake, but the stem still breaks. Then there are other times when the weather matches up just right and I find myself (and often my buds around me) flourishing. I also know that sometimes there are unknown and unseen problems lying below the surface…
It can be a complicated mess, but it’s beautiful, and I can’t keep myself from looking into the amazingly varied ways there are to cultivate growth.
Also, I can see why the Bible has so many of these types of analogies.
In case anybody was still wondering, the second reason that I feel old is that my body hurts! To bring back the analogy of basics being sun and water, when it comes to physical health, if I just exercise and eat decently, shouldn’t that be enough? From my experience, the answer seems to be a NOOOPE.
Why is health, whether it’s spiritual, mental or physical, so difficult?
*sigh*